[Current music: REM -  Automatic for the People; Salt - Bluster]

I sent flowers to my aunt. Along with a corny "get well" message. Inspired I was not. But my feelings are sincere.

I signed up for traffic school. "Our school is fun and we don't bother you with long testing sessions like the other ones. You get two free tickets to a comedy club and two free slices of pizza." She was cheerful. Too damn cheerful. I was paying them money so I could spend my Saturday with them. Fuck. Well, at least I'm getting pizza. It better not be Domino's. And it's at a Jewish community center. I'm Catholic. Well, at least I was raised that way. Um, okay, I was forced to go to church and kneel, stand, kneel, sing, mumble prayers, and inhale incense. So, do I get in trouble if I go to the community center? I gotta find a priest. He'll probably make me say a million Hail Mary's for being so stupid. "Are you sure your Catholic, my son?"

"See in you heaven if you make the list ..."