8/11/99  

My friend Wegi (waygee) had taken this picture at the Women's World Cup quarterfinals in San Jose. As I looked at it he quipped, "Look! It's Jesus!" "A lot of people are going to be disappointed that Jesus turned out to be Mexican" was my solemn reply.

It's an interesting and wonderful phenomenon, this perusing of the internet and it's myriad links. There some wonderful discoveries of sites - their designs, layouts, and the almighty content. Personal treasure troves for you to peek at. Perhaps you'll tilt your head, and remark to yourself "yes, I know what you mean..." There are other sites that will give you pause, and your finger will pause, followed by the releasing of the mouse all together. You'll sit back in your chair and strike a curious pose, and wander off in your own memory or fantasy. Perhaps you'll wonder what she's/he's really like, behind the webcam, behind the words, behind the random pictures. It this really them, or is this a production? And maybe you'll tentatively compose an email and waver for a moment before sending it on its way, and spend the rest of the night wondering if you've made a big revealing mistake. But a temporary baring of the soul can put you at ease, this you learn. Kind of like lighting candles on those solitary nights and catching a glimpse of your beautiful fragile self. Look deeply in the reflection of your own eyes, how deep can you go?

[music: sneaker pimps - becoming x]

Ah, whassup, whassup ...

Follow, merrily I lead, dance for me, evening gown an invitation to fall from grace ...

Sigh, I'm in an indiscriminate mood, meaning, there's no direction. My boss (el cacique) is leaving and his departure signals an end of a dynasty. (somebody talk me down from these heights, strange thoughts flicker, brief moments of unknown, the urge is never quite strong enough) Listen to me fake a corporate tragedy. Grumble. Eric also quit today, rather abruptly, but not unexpectedly. The opportunities are too great to ignore, and too well funded. As a friend said, you're doing yourself a grave injustice if you don't at least hold out your hand. We also talked of the fear such high prices brings, fear of expectations and not exceeding them. We all have our pride. Welcome to free agency.

I stayed at a wonderful bed and breakfast this weekend, at they served tea at 3:00pm. It's amazing how quickly I became use to this. I usually never drank tea, but here I am, feeling a bit disconcerted if I don't have tea. There was also a wine and cheese hour at 6:00pm, but I don't think I'll attempt to continue that at work.

The other cool aspect of this place was the hummingbird (my love calls them hummingpigs) population. They had placed 4 or 5 feeders in the back, and there was a constant swarming and darting of hummingbirds. They didn't really seem to mind us (I had one inspect me from about a foot from my face as I read a book) as we stood there and offered up our theories on their social behavior. It was quite a groovy experience.

[music: modern english - after the snow]

a thousand shadows to cascade over the day ...

I was watching a PBS special on lighthouses. It was intriguing insight on how history is preserved. Volunteers learning the stories, then passing them along to visitors. I am very thankful that there are these sorts of people. I've watched them tell stories of the lighthouses, rollercoasters, trains, and other wonderful topics. I've been enriched. Will I return the favor in the future? I surely hope so. I keep meaning to volunteer for noble projects, but time is a slippery and fickle creature. And well, the motivation has never been strong. One of these days ...